Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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