Swine flu. Run for my life!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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