So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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