That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
