it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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