I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I love you. Go after that dick
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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