I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
