: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
