when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
