My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
