I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
