Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
