chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We are two peas in an std pod
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
