You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
this boner is exhausting
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
