White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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