I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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