She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
