jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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