No period for spring break; use this wisely.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
