I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
