More tranny stories later!
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
