Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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