You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
