you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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