You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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