That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
