Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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