piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
