I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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