I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
