Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
