is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
