whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
