Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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