erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm really busy with my period
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