i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
