i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
