i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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