Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
