Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
