You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize