so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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