You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just cropdusted the office
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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