my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
