i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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