There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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