just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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