I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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