Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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