thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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