its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
