I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
