ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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