32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
