i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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