I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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