I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
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The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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