He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think your dad took our porno
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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