White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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