Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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