Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
