I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize