he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
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sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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