She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
