Whod you bang
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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