Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So much puke
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".