i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.