That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
