Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
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she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
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I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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