oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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