I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
