Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
